


Close Your Eyes

by Kittens



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Needles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 00:32:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15830094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittens/pseuds/Kittens
Summary: Sometimes, Kylo really hates Hux, and sometimes, it leads to him doing stupid things and getting hurt. It's not as if any amount of physical pain can be worse than what Hux has already done. But maybe, if he gives him a chance, Hux can make it better.





	Close Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> A bit late for Week 8 of Kyluxxoxo Fest 2018. But I covered the whole fucken board so there.

Kylo Ren was the Supreme Leader of the First Order, and he was definitely not going to cry. He especially was not going to cry over a stupid man who’d rejected him. And of all places, he wouldn’t cry in the middle of a fight. 

He blocked several blaster bolts with his lightsaber as he advanced on his enemies, sending them back towards them. Some managed to hit those who fired them, saving Kylo the trouble of cutting them down himself. When he finally ran out of people to fight, he sat down in the field, looking towards the remains of his TIE Silencer.

Hux would be angry that he’d been shot down. He’d probably hear about how expensive fighters were for at least a month and how he was single handedly bankrupting the First Order. A salvage team was likely already on the way for the Silencer. Maybe, if he was lucky, someone would remember that he was stranded on the planet and come for him as well. But Hux probably saw his opportunity to seize power and wouldn’t want him in the way.

Kylo always suspected that Hux had only slept with him to gain influence. With everything he knew about the Grand Marshal, it was certainly in line with how he operated. Still, Hux had seemed so genuine and Kylo had hoped that maybe he had started to feel something for him. And he’d taken his gamble and had been thoroughly rejected. Hux didn’t want anything from him besides sex and whatever favors the lonely Supreme Leader might bestow upon him.

And now, Hux was probably taking that title from him. He was likely writing a speech at that very moment to announce that Kylo had died in battle and that he would be taking his place. Maybe he was even planning on an orbital bombardment as well just to make sure he was really dead.

He probably shouldn’t have sat there in the open. Not only because of what Hux might do, but there were still Resistance fighters on the planet. And it wasn’t as if it would be difficult to find the crashed fighter, which was still sending up a plume of dark smoke. But he really didn’t care what happened. If anything, fighting helped because at least he had something to think about besides Hux.

It shouldn’t have been so painful to hear Hux say he wasn’t interested in any kind of committed relationship, especially since he knew Hux was only with him because it benefited him. But when Kylo had told him how he felt - that he loved him and wanted to be with him forever - Hux and nearly laughed in his face and told him not to be ridiculous.

Anything else he might have said, Kylo didn’t listen. He’d left, wanting to be alone, but then there was a shipwide alert to go to battle stations. Although he could have still gone off on his own, joining the battle seemed like the perfect opportunity to get his mind off of Hux. And it had worked. At least a little. He hadn’t thought about Hux while taking evasive maneuvers or when a missile locked onto his fighter or when he was crashing to the planet below.

But even if he had a few moments where he could focus on what he was doing, he thoughts always returned to Hux. It was his fault he’d been shot down. He wouldn’t have even been flying if it hadn’t been for Hux. Maybe that was his plan all along. Get him upset enough that he’d do something stupid and get himself killed.

While fighting off tears, Kylo decided he wouldn’t let Hux win. If he wanted to be cruel, Kylo could play that game as well. He could have Hux demoted, sent away to a post far from him so he’d never have to see him again. He could get rid of him entirely if he really wanted. Abandon him on some distant planet. Or send him to the Resistance. 

Even as he thought of the worst things he could do to Hux, he knew he never would. What he felt for Hux was real, and he know he could never do that to him. He didn’t even think he could bear not seeing him again. But he also didn’t know how he could handle seeing him every day either.

Still, that was something to worry about when he made it off the planet and back to the fleet. He’d need to survive first, and that meant he couldn’t stay there in the open. He started walking back to his TIE, hoping he could find the survival kit. 

Before digging around the destroyed interior of the fighter, he tried the comms to see if he could get a message sent back. Like much of the fighter, it was too badly damaged to be any use. But at least the survival kit under the seat seemed relatively intact. He opened the bag and found rope, a blanket, a knife, water, and ration bars. He didn’t dig through the rest, knowing there were likely some smaller items in the bottom of the bag. Putting it over his shoulder, he took off, heading towards a rocky looking area in the distance. Hopefully, he could find some cover there.

As he was walking, Kylo realized he’d been injured, either in the crash or in the fight with the Resistance. There was no time to worry about that, however. He had to find shelter first, and then, maybe he could see if he could treat his injuries with the first aid kit he hoped was in the bottom of the bag.

By the time he found a tiny cave - he could barely fit into it - night was falling. He would have liked to find something with more space, but he didn’t want to go wandering around an unfamiliar place in the dark. Soon, he was glad he decided not to take the chance, as it started raining. Although he at least managed to mostly stay dry, it was cold. Even huddled under the blanket, he couldn’t get warm enough to fall asleep.

The rain continued into the morning, and Kylo watched it, hoping it would pass soon. He had no idea what the weather patterns were like on the planet as he hadn’t planned on actually being on it. If it lasted for too much longer, he knew he’d have to suffer though getting soaked in order to find a more suitable place to stay. Preferably somewhere that involved civilization. He had no idea how long he’d be stuck on the planet, but hopefully, he could find some place that offered some comforts.

Before the rain even stopped and he had to worry about where to go next, he heard the sounds of a shuttle flying overhead. He took his lightsaber from his belt but didn’t ignite it, not wanting to give away his location. It sounded like a First Order craft, but he wasn’t going to bet his life on his ability to recognize different engine sounds in the rain. And for all he knew, Hux had turned the Order against him.

He waited until the sound of the engine faded and then stepped out of his hiding place. With the rain, he couldn’t see far, but he had heard the general direction the shuttle had traveled. Hopefully, they’d land and if they happened to be enemies, Kylo could take care of them quick enough.

Kylo could see a dark shape, but the rain obscured any details of the shuttle. It easily could have been a First Order shuttle, but it wasn’t as if they were the only ones who could have a black shuttle. He found a place where he would be hidden from view from the shuttle and reached out with the Force, hoping to determine just who had landed and whether they were friend or foe.

“Kylo!”

Before he had time to process his name being called or who was calling his name, he felt arms wrapping around him. That was the last thing he expected, and it took him a moment to react. Finally, he pushed away and looked at Hux, lightsaber still in hand.

“Kylo?” Hux reached out to him, but Kylo pulled back. Although grateful that Hux wasn’t trying to kill him, he still remembered how he’d rejected him, how he said he only wanted him because of his position. “Well, come on,” Hux said with a sigh. “You can at least let me take you back to the ship.”

Hux turned and headed back to the shuttle and Kylo followed. He didn’t know what he expected on board - a team of assassins, perhaps - but a medical crew quickly surrounded him and asked him all sorts of questions. Kylo answered, but didn’t pay much attention, instead watching Hux, who stood across the passenger bay watching him. Both of them were wet from the rain, but Kylo felt completely soaked and miserable. Hux looked like he didn’t even notice the water and Kylo hated him for that.

They didn’t speak at all as they made their way back to the _Finalizer_. They didn’t have anything left to say anyway. Whatever they had, it was over, and Kylo didn’t need Hux reminding him of that.

When they made it back to the ship, Kylo stood up, wanting nothing more than to be alone, but he was quickly surrounded by the medical team.

“Sir, please sit down,” one of the doctor’s said. “There’s a stretcher coming for you.”

“I don’t need that,” Kylo said.

“Sir, you have several injuries that need treatment. I really must insist that you receive a full exam and treatment.”

“I’m fine.” Kylo walked away and went down the ramp and started to head past the waiting stretcher and medical droid. He didn’t get any farther when he felt something sharp in his arm. He turned and saw the medical droid’s arm withdrawing and that it had a needle.

He didn’t need to ask what he’d been injected with as he could feel the sedative starting to take effect. It wasn’t the first time the medical crew had sedated him, and since they didn’t seem to care about his new rank, it probably wouldn’t be the last time, either. Kylo put his hands on the stretcher to help him stand. If he could hold out just a little longer, maybe he could fight off the effects of the drug.

Before he knew it, he was lying on the stretcher and was carried away.

 

Kylo knew he was in medbay before he even opened his eyes. The sounds of beeping equipment and scent of disinfectant gave it away. He sat up and opened his eyes, prepared to disconnect himself from the machines and leave, but he immediately saw he wasn’t alone.

“What are you doing here?” Hux was sitting in a chair next to his bed, reading on a datapad, but he looked up as soon as Kylo spoke. Almost as if he cared.

“I wanted -” Hux started to speak but Kylo didn’t want to listen.

“Leave,” Kylo ordered.

For a moment, Kylo thought Hux would argue with him, but he stood and left without another word. Either the sedative was still in his system, or that brief interaction was enough to tire him out. He laid back down, but before he could go back to sleep, someone else walked in the room. He started to sit up, but stopped when he saw it was just a nurse and not Hux.

“I’m surprised the Grand Marshal left,” the nurse said as he pressed a few buttons on the medical equipment. “He refused to leave your side the whole time you were here.”

“He what?”

“I probably shouldn’t have said anything,” the nurse said. “But he managed to do his job from right by your bedside.”

The nurse continued talking, going on about what injuries he sustained and how to care for them, but Kylo tuned him out. He was more than used to taking care of himself. After he was unhooked from the machines, he got up and headed out, ready to head back to his own quarters where hopefully he would be undisturbed for a long time.

Unfortunately, it seemed he wasn’t trusted to walk on his own and the chatty nurse accompanied him and the man didn’t get any less talkative. After finishing talking about all possible complications of his injuries, he started talking about all the strange injuries he’d treated as a nurse.

Kylo really didn’t care about anything the nurse had to say, and he was tempted to see about getting him transferred to a different ship so he never had to deal with the man again. Sometimes, he really preferred droids. They weren’t as prone to excessive talking, and no one would judge him too harshly for running his lightsaber through a droid. Instead of resorting to violence, he simply tuned the man out until they reached his quarters.

When he stepped inside the open door, he realized the nurse hadn’t taken him to his quarters. The hideous blue couch gave away exactly where he was and he immediately turned to leave, but the nurse put a hand on him and Kylo realized he didn’t quite feel up to fighting the man. He could, of course, but he was still tired. Later, however, he’d make sure that he never put a hand on him again.

“I told you that you’ll need supervision,” the nurse said. “Just sit down and rest.”

He was gently pushed towards the couch and he sat down. Almost as soon as he did, Hux walked into the room, and Kylo wasn’t sure if he wanted to try to flee or just disappear into the couch. While Hux spoke to the nurse, Kylo tried to figure out what exactly Hux wanted to gain from everything he was doing. If he wanted to ruin his plans, he’d need to find out.

“I understand if you don’t want to talk,” Hux said, walking over to him after the nurse had left. “But you can at least let me take care of you. Once you’re better, you can do whatever you want. Yell at me, hit me, send me to another ship. Whatever, okay?”

Kylo nodded, only because he was too tired to argue. Hux helped him stand and led him to the refresher, where there was a bath waiting for him. He allowed Hux to help him undress before sinking into the warm water. He hadn’t realized how cold he’d felt until then.

“Do you want me to leave?” Hux asked. He sat on the edge of the bathtub and Kylo almost asked him to join him, but he nodded instead. Hux sighed and leaned forward, hesitated, and then planted a kiss on the top of his head before leaving.

Kylo washed himself while trying to figure out just what Hux’s endgame was. If he’d wanted him dead, he could have accomplished that in far easier ways. Which meant there had to be something else Hux wanted, but Kylo couldn’t figure out what it might be. He didn’t really want to think about it, but he couldn’t help but feel like he had walked into some kind of trap. If he could figure it out, maybe he could avoid the worst of whatever Hux had planned.

He hated washing with Hux’s soaps, as the scent made him think of Hux and when he’d thought things might have been different between them. Kylo couldn’t help but wishing he’d kept his mouth shut, never told him how he felt or what he wanted. If only he hadn’t been so honest, then perhaps they could still pretend. Kylo could still have Hux. But he’d ruined everything because he had to ask Hux the stupidest question in the galaxy.

When Hux walked back into the refresher, Kylo realized he had started crying, and he looked away, not wanting Hux to see him. He wiped away his tears as he heard Hux approaching and when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, he pushed him away.

“Kylo, the water’s getting cold,” he said. “You need to get out. The doctor’s won’t be too pleased if you come down with hypothermia again.”

The water was still warm and Kylo really wanted to stay there, but at least he’d managed to stop crying. Slowly, he stood up and found Hux waiting with a towel, which he wrapped around him. Compared to the water, the air was much colder and Kylo shivered when it hit his wet skin.

“You’re going to be fine,” Hux assured him as he dried him off, moving around him. Kylo felt a quick kiss between his shoulder blades, and he couldn’t help but to stop crying again. Maybe that was Hux’s goal - maybe he just wanted to see how much he could hurt him.

“Kylo,” Hux said once he was in front of him again. He reached up to wipe his tears away. “What’s wrong?”

“I said I didn’t want to talk about it,” Kylo muttered. He hadn’t said it out loud, but he’d thought Hux had understood without him needing to tell him.

“Okay,” Hux said. “I’m just going to put bacta on your injuries and then you can rest.”

Hux wrapped the towel around him and then had him sit down on the edge of the tub. Kylo watched as he rubbed bacta into all the wounds he’d acquired. He hadn’t realized there had been so many, although they at least seemed to be minor. Only the injury on his thigh was painful to the touch, and Hux seemed to take extra care with that one.

Once he had finished, Hux helped him into the bedroom. He took the towel away but quickly wrapped him up in a soft robe before leading him to the bed. Kylo really didn’t want to be in Hux’s bed, but before he could protest, Hux had him down and wrapped in several blankets. He then walked out of the room, leaving Kylo on his own.

He sat up, but kept the blankets on him. His quarters weren’t that far from Hux’s. He could probably make it there just fine, and then he wouldn’t have to worry about being near Hux at all. He didn’t know how much longer he could put up with the Grand Marshal’s act.

Just as he was starting to stand up, Hux walked back into the bedroom, a large mug in his hands. He sat it down on the table next to the bed and then put his hands on Kylo’s shoulders and gently pushed him back down.

“Do you need something? I’ll get it for you.”

Kylo shook his head and Hux picked up the mug and pressed it into his hands. It was hot and smelled delicious, but Kylo only looked between the beverage and Hux, not sure he trusted Hux.

“It's just hot chocolate,” Hux said as he took the mug back and took a small sip. “Synthetic, of course, but it's not poisoned.”

He gave the mug back to him and Kylo drank it, enjoying the warmth filling him. Kylo imagined how much better it might have been had Hux actually cared about him. Maybe he hadn't put anything in it, but he was definitely up to something. 

“What do you hope to gain from all this?” Kylo finally asked after he was halfway finished with his drink. He couldn't figure it out and he just wanted Hux to tell him. He was too tired to think about it any longer.

“What do you mean? I only want to ensure you're taken care of.”

“Don't lie to me, Hux,” he said, putting the mug down and pulling the blankets tighter around himself.

“I'm not. I know we had a disagreement before you left -”

“Disagreement? That was more than a disagreement, Hux. You rejected me. Said you felt nothing for me. That everything was just… just…” 

Kylo could feel the tears threatening to return and couldn't finish speaking. Suddenly, Hux’s arms wrapped around him and Hux held him. Kylo didn't fight it. Even if it was the last time, even if Hux felt nothing, he just wanted Hux to hold him.

“I know,” Hux said. “I made a mistake. I wasn't expecting you to ask that of me and I panicked. But if you ask again, I can give you my real answer.”

“You're just worried I'll demote you,” Kylo muttered against his chest. “You don't have to pretend.”

“I’m not pretending,” Hux said as he stroked his hair.

“You expect me to believe that? The only reason you even considered sleeping with me in the first place was because I became Supreme Leader. You can’t tell me that’s not true.”

“Yes,” Hux agreed. At that, Kylo finally pulled himself away from him. “At the time, that was true. But Kylo, it’s not like that now. I don’t know when it changed, but it did. And I… are you feeling up to a little mind reading right now?”

“I suppose,” Kylo said with a shrug. He really didn’t want to, but he was just a bit curious as to what Hux had in mind.

Hux reached out and grabbed Kylo’s face and pulled him close so that their foreheads were resting against each other. “I want to show you something,” he said. “Look.”

It wasn’t the first time Kylo had read Hux’s mind, but it was the first time he had made the suggestion himself. Gently, Kylo probed inside his thoughts and immediately found what Hux wanted him to see.

He was on the bridge, right in the middle of battle, giving out orders and listening to all the reports coming in. Kylo heard when the first pilot in Omega Squadron - the group he’d been flying with - was shot down. There were several more losses and then Kylo felt absolute terror when the report came that his Silencer was hit and crashing.

Hux was ordering all available units to assist in the rescue effort and Kylo felt his despair as they were all shot down as well and then his determination to get to him, even if he had to go himself. Hux moved his thoughts away from the bridge, and instead, he was on the rescue shuttle, standing in the cockpit and directing the pilot where to land.

He could see the tracking device in Hux’s hand and felt his worry that Kylo might be in bad shape when they found him. He watched as he nearly ran from the shuttle and felt his relief when he found him, joy when he embraced him, and his disappointment when Kylo pushed him away.

When Kylo felt Hux push against his mind, he withdrew, coming back to reality. Hux still had his hands on his face, but they had pulled away from each other. For a moment, they just stared at each other and Kylo wasn’t sure what to make of what he’d seen and felt from Hux. Maybe Hux couldn’t say it out loud, but his feelings were very real.

Finally, Kylo threw his arms around Hux and held him close, never wanting to let him go again.. Eventually, they found themselves laying down, with Hux partially laying on top of Kylo. Neither of them wanted to be the first to let go.

“Are you going to ask the question again?” Hux asked eventually.

“Hmm.” Kylo could feel himself almost falling asleep and it took him a moment to process what Hux said. He brushed his fingers down Hux’s back, almost letting go before wrapping his arm around him once again. “You sure you’re ready this time?”

“If you don’t ask, I will.”

Kylo opened his eyes and found Hux staring at him, a slight smile on his face. Kylo couldn’t help but smile back, knowing exactly what Hux would say. It almost made asking pointless, but clearly, Hux wanted a chance to get things right.

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” Hux said, moving up to kiss him before settling back down in Kylo’s arms. “Nothing could make me happier.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come yell at me about nerd stuff on [tumblr](http://threewinterssnow.tumblr.com). Or [twitter](https://twitter.com/Battle_Walrus). I have twitter now.


End file.
